Loving life, despite losses and middle age!

Once you learn that people you know or once knew have actually died, or are threatened with death, you learn that time is finite. For instance, my little sister is a widow at age 44! And when I looked at the wedding video and pictures from my wedding to my son's father (my ex, which I never do anymore), I saw that some of my friends and relatives pictured dancing and smiling are now gone. The intellectual concept we all have of infinite time, and the fantasy of a guaranteed old age, harshly melt away under this new realization. Then the time we have left to live becomes uncomfortably real. Lucky for me, I have persevered to find true love in my life. My husband is a great guy, and I told him tonight, "You are so great I find it hard to believe you are a man at times!" I hated to say this, but although I love guys, have many male friends and and a fan of manhood in general, I have met a bunch of men who have let down people they cared about. So I'm happy and I want to make these days together with my husband last and last. So what if we just got married in August, a scant five months ago? We've had two and a half years together total, and in that time we've lived like he drives---with tenacity, speed, passion and resilience.